NSC – Be As Gods 4 – Crisis of Faith

Thank you for reading! Me and my coauthor Darinost are gradually combining forces and blogs, so the joint comment section for our stories is currently located on discord! Come on in and let us know what you thought, we don’t bite.

Eve crawled slowly into the control room, her face down in repentance. Adam, of course, was seated at the control panels… looking intently at the screens, grumbling to himself. He looked alright now… not at all like the helpless, struggling man writhing on the grass of the bio-ring that she had needed to drag inside to keep from suffocating. He looked powerful now with his brooding face, his brows furrowed… powerful, and more than a little frightening.

He looked up and saw her watching, and his expression changed to something unreadable. “Come,” he said, voice flat. Eve braced herself for another round of chastisement and beating, but his eyes softened as she approached. So blue… they sparkled like water in an ocean. As he stared at her, she found herself drowning in his eyes. He was just so perfect…

“Why did you do it?” he asked. It seemed like there was… pain… in his voice.

‘Do what?’ Eve thought, but she did not let the words out. Women in the Children of Adam knew their places better than that… they had been taught to guard the utterances that escape from their lips, even before she had the collar put on that forced near silence. Even if the collar would let her speak now, having been asked a question, it didn’t override the habit, or Father Elias’s teachings. Any utterance that was deemed to be disrespectful to the authority that God placed over them on Earth was a grave sin, and it was up to that authority – men – to punish them in whatever way it deemed fit. She was too weak to have meaningful thoughts and opinions. Maybe, if only she had come into the world as a man it would have been different, she thought. It was definitely better than…

She halted that thought immediately and looked meekly at Adam, letting the stupid, unclear look on her face do the talking for her. Adam understood, bless him. “Why did you lose faith?” he asked again. “Why couldn’t you just believe?”

Eve clenched her fists silently in frustration. Why had she? Why couldn’t she have just believed in him and done as he said? “I don’t know,” she replied. “Please forgive me, master.”

Adam rose from his seat to come and stand before her. She realized there was a frown on his face, so she quickly put her head down in submission. She had to show him that he was in control. It was not her place as a woman to question his authority. Was that not why Earth was doomed like Sodom and Gomorrah had been? Was that not why all the space provinces of the children of the world would come crashing down into the lake of fire that would arise from the depth of the world, a fire so vast and all-consuming it would keep rising until it engulfed the Earth and its Moon and cast all the Daughters of Lilith back into hell? It was the second death. The daughters of Lilith would die with the problems they’d brought upon themselves, and the rest of the unfaithful with them.

She would not be like them.

“We are the first two,” Adam said softly. “This world is ours, to do with as we deem right. We must have faith.”

He was staring down at her from above with the kindest eyes that she had ever seen. “We must have faith,” Eve echoed.

“I do not want to beat you anymore,” Adam said. His voice sounded like he was close to breaking down in tears. She felt the same way too. “We are man and wife. I want you to be perfect.” Eve was trembling all over as she listened. “Come here,” Adam said and spread his hands. She walked into them and his hug was warm and welcoming. He smelled of sweat and clean cotton and manly spice and raw sex, and it quickly set off her sensual needs. Eve felt her nipples grow hard with long familiarity, Father Elias having taught her to masturbate to thoughts of her own rape and the role of women since she first became aware of what sex was… even if her mind was unfaithful and conflicted, her body knew better. His hands wrapped her body, claiming her, reminding her that he owned her, that he was the man she was going to populate this space with. Their children would be beautiful, very deserving of the God that brought them here. When he pulled away from her, it was to reach for her lips. His fingers traced over her soft lips, and she closed her eyes, bracing for what she knew was coming.

His fist hit her in the side of her face, smashing into her. Eve’s eyes vanished into dizziness as her husband rattled her brain in his skull, silencing her worthless thoughts as her world spun. She almost fell but he was holding her hair, holding her up as he hit her again, striking the side of her face twice more before driving his knee into her stomach, sending her to the ground. She collapsed, and then his hands were on her ears, dragging the dazed, beaten woman back up to his groin as he tugged his jumpsuit open. His cock forced its way past her soft lips as he pulled at her ears and hair like handles, fucking his cock down her neck. Eve’s thought swam as she was used like a fuckdoll, one of his hands almost gently undressing the beaten girl as her nose and lip bled onto his dick.

This was good. This was moral. This was God’s will. Eve half sat half sprawled on the floor as she was used like a blow-up doll for her man’s pleasure, knowing that she should be grateful he paid her any attention at all after how she had disappointed him. She started helping him to undress herself, pulling her tits out of the spacesuit and showing that she was completely nude beneath the fabric. Once the caramel flesh of her breasts popped free, Adam cared nothing for continuing to undress her so she completed the process herself, her tits swinging pendulously beneath her as her neck bulged again and again and again.

The suit finally dropped to the floor, almost completely off her body, and Eve got her first solid breath of air in minutes as he pulled out, wiping his spit-slicked cock over her swelling lips and blackening eyes while she looked up at him with quiet desperation, gasping and sobbing. She was afraid he would find her undesirable with the injuries he had beaten onto her body, but when his eyes met hers, she found undisguised lust in those eyes. He looked like a starved animal that was about to rip her apart. He pulled her up onto the chair with him, his mouth closing onto her breasts. Adam gripped her left nipple between his teeth and ran his tongue over it for a moment before he bit down hard. A scream escaped from her mouth as Adam broke away, rasping hoarsely. “I will pour my seed into you,” he growled.

The command chair was high, at least three feet off the ground. Adam had her legs spread apart and sat her on top of him, fingering her on his lap… his digits were rough and moved quickly, in and out, and she couldn’t hold back her cries. The collar didn’t stop those, of course… cries of pain or orgasm were the sounds a woman was supposed to make. Finally he stopped, lifting her slightly, and then lowered her onto his saliva-soaked length. Eve was tired, weak, and dizzy, but she knew her place… she started moving on him even as his hands found her breasts and squeezed, riding him, dragging her battered body half of the way off of him before sinking back down. Her legs slipped under the chair’s arms, almost binding herself there as he thrust up into her at the same time he sank down. Each impact of his cock into her was hard and fast and she could feel her master further expanding inside of her. He was huge… like an avatar of God himself come to own her. The perfect husband, how a man was supposed to be.

Adam crushed her breasts in his hands, squeezing them and playing with them until she screamed, but she never stopped bouncing on him. She leaned forward, pressing herself against him, offering herself to him as his thrusts speared into her. “The seed of Abraham!” he screamed as he fucked her. Eve was screaming too, her tongue out, face twisted into a grimace as she tried her hardest to cum.

He beat her to it. His jizz spilled inside her womb, its heat battering her insides. She rested on his lap, fully impaled, her pussy spasming around his length as she sought pleasure that wasn’t coming until he shoved her off, sending her to curl on the ground. She could, barely, hear Adam breathing hard, but her head was still dazed and confusing.

She lay there, drifting until she saw Adam rise. “I’m hungry,” he said as he stretched, looking down at her. “Make us dinner,” Adam commanded.

Eve slowly, painfully, rose to hands and knees, gathered up her jumpsuit, and began the agonizing process of pulling it back on. Then, while her husband settled down in front of another of the information and control consoles, she crawled her way out of the command deck and to the kitchen. It was almost exactly opposite of where the command deck was on the main ring, about 100 meters spinward of where they had been left to hibernate. The woman stood before the console and punched in meals for the two of them, triggering the machine to open the rations from supply and rehydrate them for the two of them. While she waited, she looked with a sinking feeling of worry at the status screen of their supplies.

When they had woken up, one of the first things that Adam had had Eve do was to take inventory of all of their supplies, stored in one of the big blocky sections of the ship. The boxes of food had stretched on seemingly forever, an impossibly large supply that would be everlasting… or so she had thought. Eve had to shake her head, and would have laughed at her own stupid-cunt ignorance if it wasn’t so serious. They had celebrated awaking, and finding their Eden, with real food… food that had be prepared and cooked, food that was good. They were left with more MRE meals like these now… and they were working through their seemingly endless stock shockingly quick. They were almost a quarter gone now, and it had only been 3 months since they woke up. The garden deck could provide some additional food, but not enough for them both to live on… not even enough for a single person, even if the air wasn’t poisonous.

Eden had to be livable, or they weren’t going to survive much longer up here.

Eve banished that heretical thought as Adam walked into the compartment, confidently took the first bowl of food that the machine had finished, and took it to sit down without a word… no doubt working to figure out a method to settle on Eden. That was his job… all she had to do was be pleasant and helpful to him. She would not be disrespectful again. The last thing she wanted to do was to offend the man God had given to take charge over her.

She took her own bowl as soon as it finished, but when she moved to sit beside him, Adam glared at her. “Did you pray?”

Eve froze with her bowl nearly resting on the table. “What?”

“Did you pray before eating?” he said, eyes narrowed.

Eve felt ashamed of herself. She hadn’t. She hadn’t prayed the way she had been taught since waking up, and he hadn’t been making her… but doing the right thing wasn’t supposed to be his responsibility. She was supposed to be Eve, the mother of this new world with Adam, but she was already forgetting her duties… eating without praying, failing to be subservient. In her defense, she was extremely hungry and Adam had been snapping at her too much, so that she had forgotten she had to pray before eating… but that was no excuse. She bowed her head so that Adam’s eyes would not bore into hers. They were accusing, looking down on her, making her feel bad. “I’m sorry, master. It slipped my mind.”

“It slipped your mind,” Adam said sarcastically. “Imagine what Father Elias would think of you. What God thinks of you. We have not even landed and here you are, making mistakes, forsaking our faith, questioning me instead of following meekly. You would have eaten before I did if I did not stop you. The disrespect. The ungodliness.”

“I’m sorry,” Eve pleaded, dropping to her knees and abandoning her food. “I have committed a great sin.”

“You have. But I will plead to God on your behalf. Father Elias must not hear how you have disgraced yourself.”

“Thank you,” the Hispanic girl gasped with tears in her eyes. Relief washed over her face when Adam promised he would support her to God. She did not want to fail on her first mission of faith.

“You will eat on the floor,” he said firmly. “You are not deserving to be treated as my wife today. Act like a bitch, be treated like a bitch.” Eve swallowed, then obediently sank down to hands and feet, lowering herself further until she kissed his boot. “Pray for me,” he commanded.

“Women are not human,” Eve whispered, closing her eyes. “They do not think as men do, they lack the drive of men, the sentience of men. We are beasts, parasites. We do not exist to think with our brains but to serve with our cunts. I am a slut. God made me to be subservient to men, to be fun to rape, to serve. My place in the universe is beneath my husband and all of God’s sons, to be in pain, to be fucked. If I am not in pain or being fucked, I am worthless. I can do nothing right, so I will yield my will and soul to my masters and they will guide me. Amen.”

She looked up at Adam, handsome, beautiful Adam, and he took a minute to stare back at her before he nodded. “Good enough,” he praised her, and she seemed to glow. Adam was perfect, the best specimen of a man, and if he said something was good enough then it was good enough. Their leader, the blessed Elias, the voice of God himself, must have known what he was doing when he sent them here. He could not be lying.

At his nod, she began to eat, lowering her head and eating from her bowl like the subhuman thing that she was.

Eve resisted the urge to say that this was a bad idea. It wasn’t her place.

She was staring at the garden ring through one of the windows with Adam beside her, her master considering how to proceed. He was going out into that air again, convinced that God would protect him if she didn’t conjure up more demons with her doubts. Maybe he was right… but Eve was weak. Even now, she could not help but be certain that if she had not come out in time, Adam would have already been dead. She knew enough to know that the atmosphere was poisonous to the human body, and that no amount of belief was going to fix that. Going out again and breathing in the air was not going to solve the problem. What they needed was to analyze the atmosphere, find out what was wrong with it, what it was made of that was causing such problems. Going outside into that chaos again was not the answer… or so she thought. Then again, she was just a dumb whore, so instead, she looked ahead silently, occasionally throwing glances at Adam. It looked to her like his mind was far away. He always had that expression on his face, like one who felt that he carried the weight of the universe of his shoulders. So wise, so smart…

Eve prayed for him. She prayed that God would protect him. She prayed that he would forget his suicidal intentions. Going outside to breathe in the air was a stupid and dangerous thing to do… she felt sure of that… but he felt otherwise. That was the point of her greatest confusion. What if she was wrong, and he was right? He was supposed to be right, after all, he was her master. Father Elias, and God, would not have sent them to this place if they could not live here. These worlds were put here for them to conquer in His name. Why couldn’t she see the world he did? Why couldn’t see what made it all so obvious to him?

“Get ready to go,” he said suddenly.

Dreading, she began to put on her respirator, and Adam growled. “You faithless thing,” he mocked. “Why can’t you have faith in the lord and in me for once?”

She wanted to tell him that faith would not stop the atmosphere from choking him to death, but the collar would shock her if she spoke out of turn. Besides, that kind of non-believing assertion would make no difference. Still, she was determined to protect her master, at any cost, so she decided to try something else. She bowed her head and raised one hand to her throat, a dainty gesture that still managed to ask for permission to speak. When he nodded to her, she went ahead. “Master, Father Elias gave us the space suits and the oxygen masks. He must have had his reasons.”

The words gave him a moment’s pause, his forehead wrinkled with thought. His brows came together in puzzlement as the light of her words dawned on him. “That is true,” he said, conceding. He did not look very happy about it though and she hoped she had not provoked God’s son. He nodded, and began to pull on his own mask from the cabinet. “We will wear the masks outside. But when I tell you to take them off, you take them off… understood?”

Eve nodded, glad that he had listened. At least the mask would be at hand. She would not throw it off to a far distance. If she pulled it off and noticed she was dying from breathing in the atmosphere, she would simply stick it back on her head. Her only problem was hoping that Adam would do the same. He seemed too eager to go out there and die… something that she could not understand.

When they both had their masks on, they stood before the airlock with Adam in front. As before, he went first, stepping out in the garden ring through the airlock ahead of Eve and then continued walking away from the entrance in a show of bravery. Eve followed a minute after. She had to admit… feeling the moving air on her skin, seeing the leaves and the grass… it was like something out of a dream to a girl that had been born on an asteroid habitat. She had never actually been in a forest before so this was the closest she had ever come, something that felt like paradise… and this was only a fragment of the unbelievable wealth of life that existed below in the Garden of Eden.

Then Adam stopped and turned towards Eve, and her breath caught. “We have conquered this territory for the lord. For him, the Sons of Adam have taken over the galaxy that He made for us, that He gave us.” Eve froze. What was he about to do? She sincerely prayed that he would not pull off his mask or hers… but deep down she knew she was going to be disappointed. “It is time to show the lord that we believe in Him, slave. We will pull off our masks now, and face His gift.”

Eve paused. Right then and there, she decided that she didn’t care what his sense of God’s will was… there was no way in hell she was going to pull the mask off. The atmosphere was poison, and it was terrifying… and she did not want to die here. She was mumbling prayers inside her masks while Adam’s face grew redder as he glared at her. “Take off your mask,” he said, commanding. This time his voice was firmer and Adam looked like he was about to hit her. Eve imagined a struggle out here, in the toxic air and away from their airlock. If he pulled off her mask, she would simply die, because he would not pull it back.

She was beginning to see another side of him now… the foolish part. Every time this side manifested, she prayed for forgiveness for her soul. It seemed she was beginning to lose faith, but she could not dissociate her head from her mind.

“Remove your mask!” Adam shouted. “Remove it and take in the air. See that the lord’s hand is heavy upon us.” Adam’s declaration sounded faithful and foolish at the same time. Eve felt so confused. She wanted to believe in him, to have faith, but at the same time she was certain that he was wrong… and she did not want to die. She took a step backward, then another step as Adam began advancing menacingly on her. Alarms went off in her head. Was Adam sent with her to kill her? Was she a sacrifice of some sort?

“Remove your damn mask, foolish woman!” he shouted, still moving close. “God demands sacrifice and trust! As He once told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, so must we demonstrate our belief to Him. I am prepared, but you? You wretched woman of little faith! You heathen tramp!” Adam growled as he began pulling off his mask, unbuckling it, and pulling it over his head. “My faith is enough for us both!”

“No!” Maria shouted. At the same time, Adam breathed in deeply, his hands spread out.

For an instant, nothing happened. He breathed a second time and a third. Eve had just an instant long enough to feel foolish… before the coughing started. Veins bulged out on Adam’s forehead as he heaved. “God!” he screamed. “God…” His voice turned into a squeaky whisper and he fell to his knees on the ground. He was kneeling on the ground, clutching at his neck as if he wanted to tear it out. His neck was marked by numerous veins. It was as if some invisible hands was strangling him, and it was clear he could no longer breathe.

“Adam!” Eve screamed. “Adam!”

Her husband, and master, collapsed on the ground and started convulsing. Eve rushed towards him and tried to drag him up, but he was so much bigger than her and so heavy. There were only whites in his eyes now, and Eve was afraid her Adam, the only other man within light-years of her, was going to die and leave her alone. If that happened, she would be rudderless… useless. What was a dumb whore going to do on her own? What is a woman without her man? She tried to drag him towards the airlock, but decided the ship was too far off and she was too weak… He could die before she got to the ship.

Quickly, she pulled the mask off her own head and forced Adam’s head into it. Then she dashed towards the mask he had tossed away, picking it up, desperately struggling with it as she tried to get it over her face. Then, as soon as she dared breathe in again, she rushed back to Adam to watch him through the foggy glass of the mask. He had become so quiet and was no longer moving. It was frightening… She could not imagine being alone in this place.

“Adam!” she screamed again.

One thought on “NSC – Be As Gods 4 – Crisis of Faith

  1. And we’re all caught up.

    Well, not a ton happens in this chapter, in absolute terms, but I’ll say that Adam is pissing me off in all kinds of ways. There’s the obvious, physically abusing Maria, and then there are personal buttons of mine, like spiritual abuse. This is when you use someone’s religion to coerce them into doing something they don’t want to. The classic example is the megachurch preacher squeezing money out of his congregation, but here it’s the constant use of religion to shame Maria, especially with stuff like shaming her as faithless because of incredibly minor stuff like not praying before dinner (we’ll get to the gas mask thing).

    This also shifts into an annoyingly petty form every once in a while, like with the aforementioned “saying grace” thing. This is kind of a personal thing, but whenever someone tries to make a person (usually a child, in my experience), behave a certain way by saying something like “What does God think of you right now?” or “You’re being disrespectful to God,” that irritates the shit out of me.

    Yeah, I know, it doesn’t exactly measure up to all the other horrific stuff he’s doing to Maria, but still, pet peeve.

    Now, let’s get to the main thing about Adam. On Discord, we’ve all made jokes, myself included, about him being stupid, and there are bits in the description where you lean into that top (like that description of his “thinking hard” face, where one can almost hear the hamster wheel inside his head), but he might not actually be that stupid. I think this has to do with his personal theology.

    What Adam — and, judging by Father Elias, the rest of the Sons of Adam — practice is a theology that I’m not sure has a name, but that seems to involve a high degree of divine intervention in everyday life. There is something like that in real life, as I’ve heard some Evangelical Christians talk about not using birth control, for instance, because whether or not they get pregnant is up to God. Stuff like pregnancy, however, still deals with a lot of chance, so even in this idea, God is basically being trusted with determining how the dice fall, rather than outright warping the laws of reality.

    The SoA theology takes this way farther, into the realm of what are generally thought of as physical laws and constants. This is something expressed pretty well, and in a none-too-flattering light, in the modern Christian story generally called the Drowning Man Parable. You may have heard this one making the rounds, either in church or on the internet; it ends with “I sent you a car, I sent you a boat and I sent you a helicopter.” Not recounting the whole story, but Adam is definitely that guy, making this the…Suffocating Man Parable? Whatever the case, Adam evidently believes that he’ll be able to breathe the air if God wills it, and God’s going to will it if both he and Maria are sufficiently faithful.

    Now, there is a bit in the Bible where this very idea is dismissed pretty hard, but Maria wouldn’t know about that, possibly because the SoA version of the Bible may have been heavily edited or more and more disregarded as Father Elias’s teachings superseded it, but also because I REALLY doubt Maria was permitted to read scripture, what with the thing she’s made to say about women not being sentient. However, she actually catches onto the essence of the Drowning Man Parable via simple logic, and her attempt to persuade Adam is a nice moment for her, even if it doesn’t work out.

    I must admit I’m also unsure what is in that air now. There was some wiggle room in the description of what was going on last time, so I thought maybe five or ten minutes for the onset of symptoms, but this happened way faster, so we’re probably talking a minute or two tops. If this is carbon monoxide, as I suspected last time, then the concentration must be between 6,400 and 12,800 ppm. even then, the symptoms appear to be different, with agonized cries and all, so it might be a completely different chemical.

    I have a suspicion about some of Maria’s thought processes in the future, but for now all I’ll say is that her predicament is deeply sympathetic. in spite of all that he’s done to her, Adam is still the only other human being for light-years, so an impulsive drive to save him is perfectly understandable. We’ll have to see where that goes, though.


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